Today we have Mercury, the messenger of the Gods, entering into Virgo. Virgo, an earth sign, is one of Mercury’s natural homes. Mercury rules both Virgo and Gemini and feels most at home in these signs. As the natural ruler of these placements, Mercury’s energy works best in these signs than any other. Although Mercury in Gemini is a favourable placement, Virgo is where Mercury feels the most powerful and productive!
Virgo is the sign of organization. Mercury’s movement into Virgo will allow us to examine situations and information with a sharp, keen, eye. With a heightened sense of detail, and the ability to analyze and organize our thoughts, feelings, and course life situations, this placement will lend us the energy to take action, and help us get serious to buckle down to get things down.
Our communication abilities will be powerful as we are able to communicate with clear intent and reason, cutting through all the bullsh*t to get straight to the point. Although this particular placement wouldn’t be consider a lot of “fun”, it’s exactly the energy we need to get back to reality after a beautifully, chaotic, summer.
Many people sense the element of seriousness around the beginning of September anyways with kids getting back to school and summer vacations coming to an end. Although most don’t look forward to getting back to reality, this placement makes us not be whiners about it. Instead it empowers us to get a grip and get things done!
This will be a time when productivity is at an all time high, meaning your to-do list will be organized and completed based on priority and will be crossed off the list of things to do in an orderly fashion. The progress we make in our lives this month will be huge under the supporting energy of mercury in Virgo, and will lend exactly what most of us need to help move us forward after getting stuck in a rut with the energetic chaos of the summer.
The only warning I could provide you with for this placement, is to be aware that you are not overly, critical of yourself and/or others. Criticism is highly possible at this time, as Virgo has a tendency to nit pick and be "judgey" due to their overthinking and critical mind. No one is harder on themselves than Virgo, so the energy could encourage us very honestly without intent to harm. Be aware of your words and make sure you deliver information with tact as the discriminatory energy of this placement will have sharp words on the tip of everyone’s tongues.
That being said, you can only control yourself and please be aware that others may not have the same awareness as you do. So if you find yourself on the receiving end of a critical judgement or criticism, please just recognize that the one with the sharp tongue just isn’t aware that the energy of this placement is causing them to speak out of tune. Remember that you are not obligated to show up to every argument you are invited to.
Ahhhhhh…. You feel that? That sense of semi-calmness? The feeling of knowing what has to get done? The feeling that suddenly all your thoughts and feeling are feeling a bit more grounded and organized? That’s the Virgo energy coming to our rescue!
We are emerging from what have been some very overwhelming and confusing times. The Sun moving into Virgo today is exactly the energy we need in order to clean up the mess of the last couple of months, in a clean, organized, fashion.
Whatever bullsh*t is still lingering in your life now, somehow surviving the last couple of months of us being stripped of everything blocking us from our most authentic selves, will be cut through with ease like a hot knife slicing through an ice cream cake. We don’t have the time or energy for the bullsh*t anymore. We are able to clearly recognize what crap still is attached to us, and instead of focusing on letting it go right now, the Virgo energy will allow us to see its actual importance in our lives, and provide us with the clarity and strength we need to not give it any weight.
We no longer have the patience or energy to think about, or explore these negative obstacles. The time for thinking about it all is coming to a close, and we are now entering a time where we are about to implement great action in our worlds in order to move forward.
Virgo is a very organized and detailed energy. It has the ability to get straight to the point of what needs to happen in life in order to accomplish a greater goal. Virgo will lend us the energy to be able to see the bigger picture and break it down into small, manageable details and steps, in order to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Virgo energy is very analytical and can be very critical as well. It’s important to be mindful of yourself now, and the judgments you may have about yourself, or others. The Virgo energy could manifest in a way that has your tongue sharp, and ready to cast judgments on situations taking place around you.
Virgo being an earth sign, has us all feeling a bit more grounded than we have been feeling over the eclipse and retrograde summer of 2019. Being more practical in the way we think, feel, and take action, is exactly the energy we need to support us in providing closure to some of the things that rose to the surface during this time of deep transformation.
My advice to you is to embrace the energy of Virgo and get shit done! We already have a fire lit under our ass from Mars having just moved into Virgo, and with Venus just moving in, we really are going to get this party started in a calm, organized fashion.
Today, completing the cosmic trifecta of events, is Uranus going retrograde in Taurus. Uranus first entered into Taurus back in May of 2018, starting the domino effect of having our foundations rattle into a pile of dust.
Uranus is the planet of sudden change, rebellion, and freedom, while Taurus is a fixed earth sign focused on being productive using the skills and talents to the best of their ability to create financial wealth and long-term security. Uranus in Taurus isn't the best blend of energies, but since its pairing we have seen the influence of their energy on a public platform, effecting our earth with climate control, and natural disasters, we've seen it creep into our banking structures, and in an increased value and worth in the female population.
Uranus going retrograde will be giving us a timeout to retrace our steps since May 2018, and take a good look at where we've increased our worth and value. Uranus will be in Taurus until April of 2026, and as an outer planet, its energy effects are low and slow. Because Uranus is all about let go of attachments, especially where physical and monetary matters are concerned, and Taurus being so stubborn not wanting to make even the slightest change, we really are going to struggle with the inner conflict of letting go of all that we are overly attached too. This may sound unpleasant, but its absolutely necessary.
Globally, we need new innovations to help save our mother earth, we need to breakthrough bringing the health and wellness of our planet back to the forefront of concern. Adopting new green energy concepts, promoting living off grid, and focusing on the diets we consume, promoting to live more off of the earth, will be just a few focuses of this energy. We may see a disruption to the financial market as new currencies such as crypto and bitcoin make more of a splash.
Individually, Uranus in Taurus will point out where we are fixated on certain things, too attached to items or ideas, and highlight where we are too stuck in our ways. This is all to help us detach from earthly things and create a more free flowing form of acceptance instead of being so highly dependable on creature comforts. Uranus going retrograde, will slow things down just a tad, so we can see what really needs our focus and attention moving forward.
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Today, the planet of communication, information, and expression, re-enters into the fiery, brave and bold sign of Leo. Most of us will barely remember Mercury entering Leo the first time around on June 26th, because so much has gone down since then, it literally seems like a life time ago.
But, only a month ago we actually got a taste of what Leo does to the way we express ourselves when we finally stood up and spoke up about our feelings. Mercury in Leo honours the heart-space, speaks one's truth, lives more authentically, sparks new creative and romantic passions, and has fun, acting playful and lively, with a child-like energy. Because Leo is the performer of the zodiac and tends to be a bit dramatic in taking over the spotlight, we will likely feel a strength to want to be heard and seen.
Mercury rules the mental plane, and since Mercury came out of retrograde, it's been deep in the emotional and intuitive waters of Cancer, trying to mend fences and repair hearts from the chaos created while retrograde.
So here we go again.
Leo energy makes us bold, brave and confident under this influence and we aren't afraid to speak up and speak out on our truths. It's great timing actually to emerge from the darkness of emotions over the last few months, and REALLY stand up proud! Whatever it is you've been afraid to talk about or hesitant in expressing outwards, will be the topic and theme of your truth as you are being encouraged to let it all out.
A lot of difficult truths were revealed while Mercury was in Cancer. The retrograde caused hurt feelings that we all tried so hard to avoid. We are so passionate about sharing our truths with Mercury in Leo, and our new truths have yet to be told.
Again, we need to remind ourselves of the few cautions that come with this energy.
Caution #1: Because we are all fired up and wanting center stage, listening isn't our best quality. We are so eager to have our voice heard that we may not be actually listening to those looking to express themselves, and instead we could be very rude and cut them off, or only "listen" to what they have to say waiting for our opportunity to speak. We are crappy listeners under this influence and that in itself might cause hurt feelings.
Caution #2: This energy influence makes us have the tendency to ramble on long after we've made our point and deliver our truth. Whatever it is you are brave enough to now talk about, needs all the attention it can get. Don't ruin the impact of your words being expressed by rambling on about it. Recognize when your message has been received and cut yourself off.
Caution #3: Because we are still under Mercury's retrograde shadow (until the 15th) we are still in clean-up mode trying to fix what was broken under the retrograde energy. This means that there is a fairly good chance that we may have to revisit what we spoke about under this energy influence to pick up some pieces or clean up the aftermath of our truthful expression at a time when emotions weren't clearly understood. This is just another reason to formulate what you want to say in your head, and then allow the brilliant Mercurial energy to analyze and edit the best way to deliver it all, and know when it cut it short.
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Jupiter, the planet of growth and expansion has been retrograde in its place of comfort and power since April 10th, 2019. Jupiter first entered its place of power in Sagittarius back in November of 2018, providing us with major learning opportunities where expanding our minds, beliefs, and spiritual self is concerned.
When Jupiter went retrograde back in April, the energetic force and influence Jupiter usually lends us to make things happen outside of ourselves, turned the energy inward for a journey and exploration of our inner world. It has been a time of huge consciousness expansion as we've connected to our intuition and spiritual selves, helping to grow and expand the way we see ourselves and the world we live in.
If you know what area of your birth chart this transit is taking place in, you can bet that area of your life has seen the greatest growth, through the harshest of challenges since Jupiter moved into Sagittarius.
We've received huge revelations that we can't just unknow. We've revealed lots of repressed truth and memories, we've conscious or unconsciously have identified where it is in our life we've been trying to escape. And because Jupiter is all about growth and expansion, these issues have been magnified under this influence to really grab our attention.
Jupiter really doesn't mean any harm. It is the most positive planet we could have working in our favour, but Jupiter's energy does have the whole "blessing in disguise" kind of vibe. We really do face some ugly truths with Jupiter's help and assistance, but in this case, the truth really does set you free!
Now that Jupiter is going direct, we can take all we've learned about ourselves and our truth, and actually do something about it in our external lives. If you had people close to you reveal their ugly side and you can't unknow certain details, you might just have to implement some boundaries moving forward or choose to disconnect all together.
If you discovered a new truth in your relationship, how you feel about yourself, your career, or your desires, you will now receive an energy boost to go ahead and make the necessary changes in your external world to reflect your inner growth and the revelations you've received.
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Today, we are going to experience a pretty significant energy shift as the Lion's Gateway opens. Every year on August 8th (8/8), the cosmic alignment of the Earth, the star Sirius, and the Galactic Center, all end up perfectly positioned and aligned in the sky in the sign of Leo, thus why it's called the Lion's Gateway.
When this alignment takes place, we will experience a high rate of increased energy flowing between the physical and spiritual realms. This surge of energy directly effects our DNA as our energy bodies are infused and downloaded with an energetic upgrade, an "awakening" so to speak. The vibrational frequencies are so high, that many of us will feel both the energetic and physical effects of this infusion on our physical and energy bodies. This is a supercharged download with an accelerated integration process.
What does this mean?! Basically, we are upgrading. Many of us have been going through utter turmoil waiting for huge changes to either take place, or waiting to see what's next for us if the changes have already happened. This isn't on a small scale either. We are talking about life changing, and life altering themes being spotlighted. Long lasting relationships are either just beginning or ending, career changes and the quest to align with your life path or inner calling will be a huge focus, your health issues will resolve as others are about to enter a time of health crisis or focus, and the overall ongoing detachment from material things will be a huge theme for everyone doing inner soul work.
Everything has been, and continues to be, under review, as we are energetically being forced to embrace our authentic selves, and step away from the ego based programming we have been operating from. Although these sound like scary, life changing events, rest assured that all of the changes are being brought up and carried through for our highest good. The transformative process of letting go of the old habits and ways of thinking and operating get a bit messy, but the ultimate result of all this inner work will be worth every last struggle once we are standing in our truth and embodying the love and light that infuses us during this beautiful galactic alignment.
As if the energies of the last few months weren't enough for us to deal with, the energy will be the strongest tomorrow when the gateway fully opens. In order to stay as grounded as possible throughout this time, please make sure you are doing all you can to find, and hold onto your center. If you haven't read How To Ground According to Your Zodiac, please read that now as it will be super helpful for you to understand how to ground through these very powerful shifts. Engage in mediation practices during these times, and spend as much time out in nature as possible.
The whole objective for these downloads is to help us align our hearts and our heads; aligning our inner worlds to our outer worlds, and encouraging us to shine our light in times of darkness.
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THE CHARIOT (07) is the seventh major arcana card in the tarot. When THE CHARIOT is revealed, it suggests the willpower, strength, and determination of the seeker as the forge ahead on a new path and endeavour. The process of re-evaluating and taking stock of one's values has already taken place, and with the truth in alignment, you can now manifest your desired outcome. This is a card of encouragement, pushing you to take action on your decisions, as the plan has been set and you have tapped into your willpower to make it happen.
THE CHARIOT isn't a passive card. You can't just sit back and wait for things to happen. This is a card of action, focus, and determination, putting forth the hard work and efforts required to see a dream come to life. You need to be SO focused on your desired outcome, that no obstacle or challenge will sway you from your path.
This is a card of solid conviction, standing in your power, knowing what it is you want and not settling for less. This is a successful card and with it a message of power and confidence. This card will reassure those wavering in self-discipline, sinking in doubt, that as long as the focus and energy are there, a positive outcome will be supported. This isn't a time for you to cut corners, to skip steps, and to take the easy way out.
For a full and true manifestation of your vision, you will need to stay on the straight and arrow, taking and perfecting every step of the way, no matter how hard or long of a journey it may be. This is a time for you to be courageous, daring, bold, and expressive where enforcing boundaries are concerned. Your personal beliefs need to be strong both in yourself and what it is you are trying to accomplish.
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After two eclipses, two new moons, two retrogrades and having 6 planets in retrograde at the same time, July lived up to its "cosmic shitshow" label proving to be one of the greatest months, both in challenge and in reward of 2019. Now August brings us a sense of peace and completion as we vibrate higher, elevating to the next best version of ourselves. We get a huge infusion of cosmic light to help us be braver than we've been, more confident that we've been feeling, and more proud of ourselves and our journey then we've ever given ourselves credit for. Our heart leads us into the month, wide open and raw from the emotional chaos July created, bearing the scars that we've survived and healed. This month, we step into our power, shining brighter then our light has ever shone before.
After July ripped open your heart space, revealing your truth, your passion, and your need to reignite the spark in your soul, August offers you a chance to bring forward what it is you've learned about yourself, and apply it to new plans for the future and creative endeavours. You will be able to express yourself and relay your thoughts and feelings to others with a new self confidence. You are operating from an authentic place within you as you review your self-worth and how that is reflected in your relationships with love and money. There is a full ending or completion among your existing connections with friends or colleagues.
Because the Universe has pushed you into re-examining what it is your heart wants, your new discovery may mean a change in direction, having to walk away from some interactions that no longer support your future goals. The second half of August has a huge spotlight on your day-to-day routine, your health and wellness sector, and how it is you are helping others in the world. Your productivity in certain passion projects is stellar as you tidy up lose ends for new projects to take life. You are over-analyzing and being highly critical of your energy and how it is being used throughout your day, to support your mind, body, and soul equation, and how you share your energy in helping others. This is a great time to take stock of the elements in your normal routine and the value they have on your heart. Inviting in new ideas, ways of doing things in your day, how you organize your space and time, and new ways to be of service to others will be your main focus and theme.
After July revealed a lot of family drama and hurt feelings, you are now piecing together your new perspective on your family dynamic, and seeing what kind of boundaries need to be set in place to protect your heart. August offers you an opportunity to completely transform your perspective on the home life issues as now you can take what you've learned about the family dynamic and actually move forward with your new knowledge. There are a few issues that will have to be addressed within the home and the relationships in it, but you will be speaking from a much more confident
sense of self, as you allow your heart to lead the discussion, honouring your truth and expressing yourself accordingly. You've grown so much since your birthday and this is a great time to take a step back in all you've accomplished over these last few months. Your inner growth, truly embracing who it is you are, has been your greatest achievement. The transformation continues as you let go of certain responsibilities associated to your career and the role you play. This release will give you a lot more freedom in your career sector having you focus on other things. The second half of August is shining a huge light on your heart. As you peel back the layers of truth, exposing the weight and scars you carry on you heart, you will speak your truth with pride and confidence showing you what it is your heart truly finds to be of value. You will feel energized to tackle any project that connects you with a creative part within. Joyful activities are favourable as you re-evaluate the smaller things in life, and what actually makes you happy. It's a great time for you to get organized inside your heart space, tidying up the fragmented energies that still hold onto hurt, offering you an amazing opportunity to make plans for yourself, to really spend more time with the people you love, doing the things you love to do.
After July forced you to see things in a new way, forcing you to speak up where you would have rather stayed silent, you stepped into your power by using your voice. August offers you an opportunity to take what you've recently learned from your partnerships, and to now make the changes necessary to protect your heart. When the situation arises for you to revisit a topic or discussion that you didn't complete the first time around, you will be able to express yourself, especially in your intimate relationships with more passion, confidence, and pride than ever.
You will be re-evaluating the hurts of your heart and soul, but a sudden change in your self-worth will have you seeing the silver linings in what shook you to your core. You will be completing a life lesson and closing a huge chapter on your emotions, freeing yourself to act more independently and doing what it is your heart wants you to do. The second half of August has you focused in on re-organizing your home situation. You'll have lots of passion and energy to dive into projects effecting and bettering the home. As you take stock of what you value in your emotional relationships, your home environment, and your financial securities, you will likely see new adjustments take place in both your love and money sectors. As you dive into the details of your life, you will uncover some wants, needs, and desires, of your heart and soul, creating a great list of new intentions you'd like to see take place over the next few months. This is a great time to stay home and get settled into your new family dynamics.
After July forced you to take a good look at your worth, both in money and heart matters, August will offer you new ways of thinking about what it is you value in yourself, and where it is you find the value in your time and money. The work/life equation has been weighing on you, and now, because of the experiences July gave you, you have learned some important lessons that will change your day-to-day routine. The work/life equation has lead you to solve the min/body/soul equation. You're now starting to see how integrating your health and wellness into your day to
day life provides you the balance you so desperately seek. Applying this knowledge moving forward, will have you speaking up in confidence about where it is you need to re-evaluate your sense of worth. You'll be making some serious connections, both with ideas and with the right people, as you redefine what you're dreams are and what it is you're willing to do to make an income while you do something with more meaning. Letting go of the outdated parts of you attached to old dreams will transform you into a more independent, free thinking individual concerned with the health of humanity. The second half of August shines a huge light on you absorbing lots of new knowledge, forming new ways of thinking, and expressing yourself, communicating with a high level of details, facts, and organized ideas. You will have the mental abilities to dive into something new, to discover knew topics of interest that could be later rewarded with income, and have you super excited about planning your new future goals.
After July showed you what parts of you needed to be purged and left behind in order for you to fully emerge as a brand new energy and sense of self, August offers you opportunities to focus on building your worth, both in confidence and in money. With your heart now expanded to maximum capacity, recognizing what it is you love and what brings you joy, you can now move forward and make plans to grow your creativity and expand your relationships. You'll be able to communicate and express your thoughts and feels with a brand new clarity.
You'll have a chance to take a good look at your current career position and maybe take stock of whether or not it's what your heart wants to be doing. There will be a huge release of an emotional cycle effecting your personal and romantic relationships, as you recognize the need for more freedom and independence. The second half of August shines a bright light on you recognizing your skills and talents and whether you are using them to the best of your ability. This is a time for you to be levelling up your self-worth, levelling up how you're being productive in creating income, and how your finances need to be better supported for your long term goals. You'll have the energy to dive into any project that can lead to utilizing your talents and to organize your finances accordingly. Taking a time out to analyze the details of your life and re-evaluate where it is you find value in yourself and what you do will be a game changer as you work to increase your monetary wealth as well.
After July forced you into seeing what chapters need to be closed, especially where your life lessons are concerned, August will offer you opportunities to rewire your mental and heart plane to allow you to let go of old habits and hurts, and embrace the new vibration you are embodying once downloaded with the solar infusion on your birthday. You will be growing and expanding your home and the relationships in it. You've learned a lot about yourself over the past few months and now it's time to implement those boundaries to protect your heart
from giving too much of yourself away, with very little in return from others. You'll be feeling brave, confident, and proud of yourself and will be speaking up in situations that you'd normally stay quiet about. This is a time to express yourself, especially when closing the door or chapter on certain friendships and interactions. As you enter into a new year, you are stopping to reflect on all that you've learned about life over the past year, and because of what's been revealed to you, you may have to take stock of your self worth, and your money. The equations seem off, and requiring you to level up in your worth sector for the year to come. You will see another ending or closure to your day-to-day routine as you recognize what needs to be switched up in the run of your day, to promote a new, healthier mind, body, soul balance. Your physical body is changing and letting go of certain habits will help promote your overall health & wellness sector in your new natal year. The second half of August will have you focused on yourself. As you emerge from the darkness of the months gone by, you will stand in your power, revitalized, renewed, and ready to make some positive changes in your life to support the new you.
After July showed you where in your career and in your connections you are unhappy, August offers you an opportunity to focus on what it is you actually want in your life. You've had some huge revelations about your current situation and the elements that don't feel good to you moving forward. You'll have a chance to apply all you've learned to your new perspective, encouraging you to speak up and out about some of the elements you need to see change in. You are no longer willing to go along with other people's ideas or opinions just for the sake of keeping the peace.
You'll see your confidence emerge, a bravery take over, and a sense of pride you haven't felt before show you the way to stand up for yourself, and express yourself accordingly. Now that you've been exposed to the darker parts within you, you can no longer tolerate a fake facade in yourself or others. You may find that your quest to connect to others who are raw and authentic push you outside your current social circles to find a greater connection in life. You will feel a huge emotional release from your heart chakra as you let go of the weight that has been holding you down. There's a freedom that takes over once you allow the pain to be released. The second half of August shines a huge light on your spiritual path and the expansion of your intuition. This will lead you to let go of even more outdated thinking patterns and pains you hold in your heart. This is an inner journey that will have you fired up and passionate about healing. You now see the value in the mind, body, soul, connection and get a bit more organized in your spiritual practice.
After July pressured you into re-evaluating your career position and public image, August will offer you opportunities to expand your network and connections to help you grow your career and help you reach the next level of success. You have learned a few tough lessons about your own self-worth, and the skills and talents you hold back from sharing with the world. You can now take what you've learned and grow your value into something that will support your long-term financial goals. It's time to be productive in building a stronger foundation for you to create an income from. And now that you know your
worth and what you deserve in life, there's really no stopping you. You take the center stage expressing what it is you want from your current position in life. Now that you are strong, confident, brave, and proud of where it is you've come from, and all you've been through to get here, you'll be expressing yourself in a way that gets you the attention and recognition you deserve. Your thoughts and feelings surrounding your partnerships may be changing, as you open yourself up to new possibilities on how you can share yourself with others in a more intimate and connected way. There will be a huge emotional release that takes place freeing you from some topics and themes in the home and family dynamic. The second half of August shines a huge light on making new connections in life, new friendships, and new social circles as your network expands. This is a great time to rethink your goals and wishes and use the new connections coming your way to make them happen. You'll have a lot of energy to pour into making your network expand. The internet will prove to be powerful in helping you to expand and reach a larger audience. Get organized and calculated this month, and let your mental plane show you what has to be done in order to reach the level of success you desire.
After July forced you to learn lessons that you would have rather not learned, August will offer you opportunities to set yourself free from a lot of the things that were weighing on you over the past few months. You've raised your awareness and consciousness from all of the learning that took place. Now you can integrate those lessons, and start making some changes in your life to grow and expand your future. There's been a lot of truth revealed to you and now that you've had some time to think about it, you've formed a new way of thinking and feeling about
certain issues. Using a new level of confidence and bravery, fully allow your heart to express itself in communicating your thoughts and feelings to others. You'll need to do a bit of tweaking to your day-to-day routine, to create an easier way of completing all of the tasks and chores in your day. You need to make more time for yourself, making sure you are balancing your mind, body, and soul equation. Your health needs a bit more attention, as you have dismissed certain symptoms for far too long. There will be a huge release in your mental and emotional plane, as you let go of certain ways of thinking and feeling. This release will free you from some of the emotional weight you've been carrying that has manifested in your physical body. The second half of August has your career sector spotlighted as you have a new energy and drive to put into what it is you do for work. You are realizing that the financial details of your life need a bit of adjustment and re-organizing, and your career sector will help those changes and new goals be possible for you. This is a great time for you to be considering your career position for the long term, and if you decide you want to be doing something else to earn an income, setting those new intentions and desires for yourself will have you attracting better opportunities to you as we move into the fall.
After July made you face the darker parts of yourself, to embrace the disappointment and shame you feel for not being as successful as you had hoped you'd be at this point in life, August will offer you opportunities to really apply what you've learned in life and in schooling to create new opportunities for you to earn the income you deserve. The lessons you learned about yourself over the past few months have created a lot of expectations that even you can't live up to. You'll really have to step back and let your intuition show you your next moves in life, as your mental plane isn't going to be able to make this decision logically.
Trust yourself and the direction your intuition wants you to take. You can't hide the deeper darker feelings inside you forever. Some things need to be expressed outwardly and released from your body. Be brave and confident in sharing your thoughts and feelings with others at this time, no matter how dark they may be. Your truth matters and it needs to be heard. You will see a huge release in the way you value yourself. Your skills and talents aren't being used to the best of their ability, but it's your self worth and the confidence you lack that is preventing you from earning the kind of money you deserve. The second half of August shines a huge light on what it is you've learned, how to use that knowledge to the best of your ability, and where you need to expand your horizons to explore both the world around you and the world within. You will have a brand new energy to work with, pouring yourself into projects that will utilize your skills and talents in a way where your passion will shine through. Take stock of your value and where you see the worth in what you do. Take the opportunity to create new goals and dreams for yourself as harnessing the power behind your new self worth will propel you forward, aligning with opportunities even you couldn't have dreamed of.
After July forced you to deal with some commitment issues in your relationships, August will offer you opportunities to transform yourself into a more elevated and connected energy. You've learned a few harsh lessons over the past few months about your friendships and connections in life. Now you can take what you've learned and implement new boundaries to protect yourself from being taken advantage of. You will need to spend some time creating new goals and wishes for yourself, as you set out to make new connections with people outside of your current social circles.
Your relationship issues aren't over, as you're being asked to communicate yourself openly and honestly, speaking your truth with confidence and clarity. You haven't been honest with yourself, and now you need to acknowledge and accept that, as you clear the air and level the playing field in your relationship. You will have to take a time out and retrace your steps, as the adjustments you've made to your home and family dynamic need to be reviewed. You may see that the foundation you've been trying to build for yourself and your family isn't strong enough to hold the future you've dreamed of. Take a look at your financial situation and the strength of the relationships within the home to see where adjustments need to be made. You will be releasing a huge emotional weight from your body, especially where you view yourself is concerned. You are levelling up which means parts of you need to be released to make room for the new energy and vibration. Free yourself from some of the emotional weight you've been carrying, especially where the home and your relationships are concerned. The second half of August has a huge spotlight on your current transformation. You will face some very dark parts of yourself, forcing you to transform that darkness into light. This can be reflected in seeing your finances changes, your intimate relationships change, and where your sexual expression is concerned as well. This is a time of rebirth for you, and you will have the energy, drive, and passion to fully embrace all the new changes you will see in both yourself and in the world you've created. These darker elements will show you exactly what kind of new intentions you'll need to set for yourself moving forward.
After July forced you to get real with yourself and what it is you actually want in life, August will offer you opportunities to step up to the plate and put forth the effort and hard work needed to truly make your dreams come true. You have learned a lot about yourself and what it is you want to do with your career. Now you can move forward bringing all the knowledge you've required from your past, into the present moment where you can apply it to your career position and finally feel like you are doing what you've always desired to do.
This will still require you to put in the hard work and efforts before you'll truly receive the recognition you deserve. You may need to step up to the plate and be a bit more vocal in how you are communicating in your day-to-day life. You need to bring your confidence to the forefront, so you can speak with clarity and authority to get your ideas and feelings across. Honour your truth and remain as grounded as possible as you take on a role that you're not quite comfortable with as of yet. Your voice is important and will be a source of power for you in expressing what needs to be done in your day-to-day routine. You will be releasing a huge emotional weight where your karma is concerned. Because you've successfully completed some life lessons, you truly are on a new path, and with that, your intuition will be the leader into this next chapter. There's a lot going on inside you this month, as you re-arrange your thinking and ways of doing things. The second half of August will have a huge spotlight on your personal relationships, the money and resources you share with other people, and how you share yourself with those you love. There will be a new energy forcing you to re-organize your relationship dynamic to support the new adjustments you've made in your home. This is a great time to adjust the budget and rethink your long-term goals. You might be faced with some unpleasant facts and truths that will force you into creating new intentions, new ways of doing things, and how you share your energy with your loved ones as we move into the fall.
Finally! After three too many weeks of mercury (the planet of information, communication, and expression) being water logged in all the emotional waters of the home and family dynamic, we are ready to start seeing things clearly and moving out of the deep end.
Mercury first entered into Cancer back in June, and made for a messy turn of events where our feelings were concerned long before Mercury went retrograde. Mercury caused all kinds of miscommunications, and misunderstandings especially in our close relationships, and then moved into Leo very briefly giving as a bit of courage to say our peace where it needed to be heard.
When mercury went retrograde, it started retracing its steps, moving back over the topics and issues created months earlier, and in true retrograde fashion, dug up all kinds of lessons we all thought we were done with.
Now with Mercury going direct again, he is starting at the 24th degree of cancer, giving us a two week shadow period to try and clean up the mess we've made since June. The waterworks are definitely over, but prepare yourself for one last cry as we revisit the topics and things that upset us many moons ago.
With mercury now moving forward, we will see situations resolve themselves. We will feel the clarity come back into our mental space, and we are going to be able to express ourselves, communicate our thoughts and feelings effectively and actually have them understood.
Because lots has happened to us since mercury first entered cancer, and as it went retrograde (most specifically eclipse season) coming out of this backward motion may take some time. It would be an ideal time to check out what mercury entering into cancer started the first time around, what mercury going retrograde had you facing, and seeing what your focus is coming out of the fog.
If you have been completing the Astro eGuides along with these energetic shifts, taking a look back on what kind of mind and heart space you were in at the time, may serve to be a helpful tool in recognizing what topics and themes may need a bit more closure.
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Today we have our Black, Super New Moon in Leo which serves as the catalyst for us to emerge with brand new energies and sense of self. This is the tipping point so to speak, where after months of emotional anguish we are feeling strong enough, revived, and renewed enough, to stand tall and proud as we walk out of the dark cave we've been hiding in.
This is a black moon, meaning it is the second New Moon in the same month (which doesn't happen very often), and it's also a super moon as the proximity of the moon from earth is at its closest distance, not only appearing closer than ever, but the intensity in which this moon is effecting the tides (and the water within us) is extreme.
A New Moon is classically a time to invite new ideas, intentions, new elements to our lives, and this New Moon is not only a great time to be setting new intentions, but it is the first New Moon in months that actually support us in manifesting.
We have been beaten down and knocked over the last couple of months. With eclipse season breaking us down, with all the planets in retrograde forcing a pressurized transformation of our inner-selves, this new moon, the absolute center of the zodiac wheel and galactic calendar has our hearts wide open, bearing all wounds in the name of love.
This New moon carries a lot of power, asking us to step up and take ownership, to take back our power, to take control of our lives, and to be the leader we need to be in our own worlds. This new moon takes place only 46 minutes before mercury comes out of retrograde, meaning we can finally start moving forward again and escape the emotional waters that many of us have been drowning in.
This New Moon taking place in Leo is the heart of the lion. This is when we allow the heart to lead, to show us where it is we've been living in fear, and where we've allowed our ego and critical mind to block our intuition and our heart from making the decisions.
Under this energy we are being encouraged to take the anxieties we feel in our gut up into our heart space, and the fears and doubts we create in our mental space, down into the heart chakra. And when you calm the mind long enough, you will see that the heart knows and heals all. No one knows you better than you know yourself.
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Venus, the Goddess of love, money, and long-term commitment moves into the fiery and passionate sign of Leo today. Venus had a hard go in Cancer as she spent many months crying herself to sleep, rebuilding herself from disappointments from the heart, and reeling from the changes that took place within the family dynamic of the home. She spent most of the eclipse season feeling less than and broken. And now that the watery, tearful season is behind her, she can't wait to pick up the mood and dive into the passion of Leo.
Both Venus and Leo love love. They both want to find that special someone and connect on all levels. If you are single, you could find a very intense romance unfold under this energy. If you are already coupled, you will see a resurgence of romance and flirty fun. This is a time where we move forward with an open heart as we just released huge weights and energetic blocks from our heart chakra.
Love will be the focus during Leo season, as we reconnect with what we are passionate about. Creative projects will be reignited and anything that triggers an intense emotion will want to be expressed and shared.
Venus also wants to focus on her money. Although she is feeling good, positive and confident under this energy, she has a tendency to be a bit to generous and in turn overspend on things that don't really make sense to her long-term commitment and goals.
Venus is always thinking about the future. Even though her hair is down and she's dancing her little heart out under this Leo energy, she is still evaluating what means the most to her as far as her long-term commitment and values go. Any decisions that need to be made under this influence will have a light-heartedness to it to prevent you getting bogged down with the seriousness and responsibility of having to make major life decisions. The good news is, anything trivial that has the potential to drag us down will be tackled with a much more positive and optimistic mind frame. We are finding new worth in our relationships, in how we make our money, and how we are planning for the future.
There are some cautions that come with this energy. Because Venus takes love, money, and commitment very seriously, we have to make sure we don't become overly dramatic in our interactions. We want to avoid over dramatizing ourselves and over sharing our emotions. Of course we don't want to over spend, or commit to anything that our heart doesn't agree with. This is definitely a time where you need to let your heart lead the way.
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*** TRIGGER WARNING: Please be advised that the following post contains graphic and triggering content.***
The physical repercussions of what happened to me in that operating room have been the catalyst for me to learn all there is to know about the human body and how it functions. The long road of recovery is still taking place even 10+ years later. The autoimmune issues and secondary complications from all that took place is still a learning process. Just when you think you have it all figured out, your symptoms change, you become reactive to "safe" products and foods, and suddenly you have to start from square one.
Although the physical challenges have been my most difficult to overcome, the emotional, mental, and spiritual challenges I have faced weren't any easier. Of course with that kind of trauma and loss it takes a toll on your emotional and mental state. I spent 4.5 hours every week for the first year after the trauma with a psychiatrist and a mental health team who specialized in Women's Health Postpartum issues. I worked with grief counsellors to process the loss of my babies, and with the help and support of these specialists, I slowly but surely found my center again.
It was hard to process all that went on, all that had happened, and filtering my feelings and experiences to not reveal the spiritual crisis I was in after what I had saw. I was walking a very thin line of receiving help for the emotional and mental aspect, all the while knowing that I couldn't reveal the spiritual experience I had, in fear I'd be looked at as crazy or trigger some kind of event where I got locked up in the mental ward. I was terrified that what I had experienced would be looked upon as a mental crisis, so I kept those details and my experiences to myself.
I knew the minute I woke up in the hospital that I was different. I didn't feel like myself. I could see colourful mists around people, and somehow knew what they were thinking. I remember waking up when one of the nurses came into do a check on me, she smiled as I opened my eyes and hovered over me asking me if I needed anything. I said, "You have to go." She came closer to me and asked me to repeat myself, as my voice was still very much a whisper from the damage that took place during surgery. I said, " You have to go." "Go?" She asked, "Go where?" "The girl down the hall, she needs you." I said. Confused she looked at me and said, "What girl?"
At that moment a CODE BLUE rang throughout the hospital requesting all medical teams to head to the room the emergency was taking place in. As the nurse heard the call, she looked at me. I put my finger (the one with the "ET" heart rate monitor on it) up in the air pointing at the ceiling where the speaker was sounding off. "She needs you." I said. "You have to go!" The nurse was confused but left my room in a hurry to respond to the code call.
Later on that day, before she ended her shift, she came back into my room for final rounds. I opened my eyes and asked her if the girl was alright. She nurse looked uncomfortable, but told me that she was doing fine, that it was a close call but they were able to bring her back. I smiled at her, and said "She's scared. She's all alone with a new baby. She doesn't think she can do it. But she can. This is her chance." The nurse politely smiled at me, and quickly left my room.
When I finally got out of the hospital and could head home, I went to stay with my father. My house had too many stairs and I wasn't even able to walk unassisted at that point, so the stairs were a deal breaker for me. I was on some pretty heavy medications after the trauma. I would slip in and out of a dream state where I was experiencing some pretty new dream content, with some really disturbing messages. I had chalked it all up to the drugs until I stopped taking all my meds and the weirdness continued.
Once I stopped taking my meds, I actually couldn't sleep. I would fall into a dream state where I was back in the hospital waking up for the first time with all the doctors standing over me. I could hear babies crying in the background and the dream took a scary turn when the doctors started yelling at me about how I had already forgotten about my babies. They were tormenting me saying that I just left without my babies and now they will be given away, how someone else will raise them.
At that point in the dream I would wake up, terrified, sweating, crying, and reliving the whole trauma over again. This happened multiple times a night, and went on for weeks. The lack of sleep didn't make my days in physical and emotional therapy any easier. It took a toll on me. It got to a point where I was even scared to fall asleep because I didn't want to experience that dream again.
After 11 days of being awake, not falling asleep for even one second, I asked my doctor for help. She gave me some meds to help me sleep, and we worked through the mental and emotional issues connected tot the dream. I got an overwhelming urge to get a tattoo for my babies, memorializing them in the most permanent way I could think of. My boyfriend at the time (the "would be" father of my children) carried me into a tattoo parlour and laid me in the chair where I got my tattoo.
On my right arm, the side of my body that received the most damage, the side of my body that didn't have collapsed veins, the side of my body that kept me alive, I memorialized my children where I wear my heart on my sleeve. That night, as if I had made some kind of peace within myself. I slept for the first time since the trauma without any kind of nightmare forcing me to wake.
The weirdness didn't stop there though. I had been experiencing these really weird times where my ears would ring so badly that it was debilitating. It sounds like a microphone was too close to the speaker inside my head. I couldn't see anything, or hear anything around me when it happened, other then this loud screeching inside my head. This went on for a while. With no physical or medical explanation, I was left to deal with it on my own.
One night as I was watching tv, this happened again. But this time, the loud speaker in my head came through, like I had been scanning the radio for a clear channel. It sounds like many voices speaking together at one time. RUN! That's what I heard. RUN! Run?! Run where? I can hardly even walk how the eff am I suppose to run?!
The messages "RUN!" came through at least once a day. Me, now confused and numb to these experiences, I just let them come and go. Spirit doesn't like to be ignored though. Of course I didn't know that at the time, so it was a hard learning curve.
When I went to sleep at night all I dreamt about was me being in bed in a dark room. The whispers in the shadows kept repeating "Run... run.... run..." This went on for weeks. Finally, one night, the dreamscape changed. The whispers were still chanting, but this time they became louder. And the louder they got, the more I covered my head with pillows in my dream. I remember watching myself all curled up in my bed, my head covered with pillows, and then the chanting stopped. I watched myself take the pillows away from my head and when I sat up in my bed, there were figures of people standing all around me. They stood there, still, unfamiliar, and silent. And then they opened their mouths all at once and this high pitched frequency came streaming out.
In that moment I woke up.
This dream went on for months. The same dream, the same chanting, the same figures, the same high pitched frequency. I woke up at the same time, every time.
Six months later, I reached a huge goal in physio therapy. Finally walking unassisted, and able to stand for more than 10 minutes, I had another crisis. My boyfriend at the time, was an alcoholic, and an abusive one at that. The truth is, I had no business being with this guy. I knew he was trouble. We had had our first physical altercation the day before I found out I was pregnant. We decided that was our wake up call and that we had to put the past behind us, to start new and be better for our child.
To say that he was supportive of me during my trauma would be a lie. He spent the time I was in surgery drinking in the parkade, he was talking to other women and inviting them over to my house while I was still in the hospital, and he beat me down emotionally for "Not being able to provide him with children." "What's wrong with you? he'd say. Thirteen year old girls get pregnant and have babies the first time they have sex. What's your excuse?"
That kind of mental and emotional abuse is never okay, but when someone is already at their very lowest, that kind of talk can be deadly. Not in a position to fight, argue, or defend myself, I just took it. I just took whatever crap he threw my way and internalized it.
That night, on the day I reached my physio goal, he was drinking and became very dangerous. I had asked him to leave many times, but we both knew he wasn't going anywhere. At the end of my rope, I grabbed the phone and hid it under my blanket. I hit redial knowing he had talked to his parents earlier on that evening. Trembling, I held the phone still allowing them to hear the shitshow that was taking place in my living room. After a few minutes, when I felt they had heard enough, I hung up the phone. They immediately called back, and when he answered he played it cool like all was well in the world.
As I watched his face, I knew they were confronting him about all they had just witnessed. His eyes glazed over in blackness and he threw the phone at the wall smashing it in a million pieces. He threw is lit cigarette on my carpeted floor, dumped his beer over me before throwing it threw my window and came at me as I was sitting on the couch. "RUN!" The voices in my head screamed at me, "RUN! RUN! RUN!"
That was the first time in my life I had been thrown across the room like a rag doll. What seemed to be the longest minutes I had ever lived turned into a nightmare that even I couldn't wake up from. I crawled over the floor trying to reach my cell phone to call the cops. Just as the operator answered he grabbed the phone from me smashing that too. He had spent time in jail as a young defender and was terrified to go back as an adult.
"RUN!" They screamed, "RUN!" I got up an ran to the kitchen. He was screaming at me that he was going to kill me and I believed him.
Just as I reached my butchers block of kitchen knives, he came from behind and attacked me, trying to get the knife from my hands. He threw me against the cupboards and stood over me as I was screaming on the top of my lungs for help. In that moment I knew there wasn't a chance in hell that my neighbour was going to hear me screaming and that I was going to die in my own kitchen.
Suddenly I was looking over my body, again. I was up in the corner of the ceiling looking down on all that was taking place. I kept telling myself that it was okay, help was coming and that I was going to be alright. My physical self kept kicking and screaming and trying to get him off of me, to get his hands away from my throat. My spirit self was screaming at my body from up in the corner of the ceiling, trying to cheer me on and keep fighting.
Just as I thought I was living my last minutes of life, my spirit self, hoovering above me and him on the floor, seen his parents running down the hall. His father grabbed him off me and rushed him to get out of there before the cops came. His mother kneeled down beside me and when I took my first breath free of his hands my spirit self jumped back into my body.
With the boyfriend now gone, and me in utter distress, his mother picked me up off the floor and got me settled on the couch. I was covered in beer, spit, blood, and tears. My house was totally destroyed. Broken windows, smashed tv, broken phones, curtains hanging off the wall, the fridge and its contents tipped over. His mother cried with me as she cleaned me up.
The police arrived and walked threw the hanging screen door that he ripped off on his way out. And when the cop entered my home he was just about as impressed as I was.
I lied. I lied to the cop. I made up some bullshit story about what had happened, and brushed it off even though his mother begged for me to tell the truth. I couldn't do it. It wasn't because I loved him, or wanted to protect him, it was because I loved his parents and his family so much, that I couldn't bear to be the reason of why their son would be in jail.
Against the cop's and his mother's advice, I stood my ground and stuck with my story and let him get away "Scott-free".
I laid in bed all night without closing my eyes for one second. I was waiting for the sun to come up so I could go to my father's house when we woke up. Beaten and bruised, I showed up on his door step and that was the last time I ever stayed in my own house.
I was struggling both mentally and emotionally with all that had just took place. I was getting ready to take a shower to wash the night off of me and I broke down in tears.
In my head, I asked for God or whoever was listening, to give me a sign. Give me a sign that things will be okay, that I did the right thing, and that I'm safe. Not sure, what I was actually expecting, I took off my clothes to get in the shower, and as I stood there, looking at myself in the mirror, tears running down my face, I got my sign.
On my chest was a bruise in the shape of an angel. He had forcefully pushed me against the wall with such power, that his handprints were embossed in my skin.
The angels were with me. The angels were in me. I was finally safe.
THE LOVERS (06) is the 6th trump card in the major arcana and represents meaningful connections and relationships of all kind. Although commonly representing romantic and intimate relationships, THE LOVERS (06) suggests that you have a strong energetic and soul connection with a loved one. This could be a soul contract of any kind, but more often than not, it symbolizes a soulmate or life partner. This is a spiritual bond that ignites something within the two of you. It's a spark of passion, romance, loyalty, devotion, respect, and spiritual oneness.
THE LOVERS (06) represents a open and raw form of communication between two people. It is a card of vulnerability, honesty, and an exchange where both parties can share themselves fully with one another. This relationship is about building each other's confidence, trust, and faith. Harmonious connections and respecting each others feelings and perspectives are the key bond here.
On an individual level, this card is advising the seeker to clarify their values and beliefs. It's about truly knowing what it is you want and deserve in a relationship, and clearly defining your boundaries to respect your faith and beliefs. It is important for any relationship to be made up of two people who have a clear idea of who they are as individuals, and what it is they desire from sharing life with another person.
At the core of this card's symbolism, THE LOVERS (06) card is all about choice. The choices we make within ourselves as an individual, who we are in the world, what we want from life, and who we want to share ourselves with, is just the beginning. Once we have a clearly defined picture of ourselves as an individual, we expand our perspective to allow another person enter our mind and heart space. When we pair up in a partnership the choices become doubled. It's important to define the relationship, what it needs, wants, and desires from each person, and what each person can do to honour themselves, the other person, and the relationship as a whole.
Finally, THE LOVERS (06) card encourages you to unify dual forces. You can bring together two parts (regardless of their individual energy) to create something that is whole, unified and harmonious. In every choice, there is an equal amount of advantage and disadvantage, opportunity and challenge, positive and negative. When you accept these dualities, you build the unity from which love flows.
Marlee Henry
Psychic Advisor
The Energy Boutique
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Today the Sun, our vital life force, moves into its place of power and comfort in Leo. Leo is an fire energy, very much focused on the matters of the heart, where love, passion, and expression reigns. Leo is represented by the lion and demands the same kind of regal attention. It represents strength, pride, and passion in all forms.
The Sun moving from Cancer to Leo is a welcomed changed by all. The Cancer season topics and themes of the home and family dynamic had many of us broken hearted on some level. We got double-whammied with the eclipses and having us beat and broken down before we could breakthrough and emerge as the king of the jungle we actually are.
Leo season will bring romance, (the fun, playful kind), to the forefront. We want what the heart wants and the heart wants to be loved! We want to be acknowledge and appreciated. We want to be applauded for all we've gone through. We want to stand on the center stage with the spotlight on us, and relish in the attention. This is a time where our romantic relationships and our creative projects will thrive. Anything that we are passionate about will take the limelight, and with the roar of the lion encouraging us to express ourselves in whatever ways we need, will not only be heard, but will be accepted.
Our playful sides shine under this energy, and we want to have fun! We are generous with our time and attention, and also with our money which you should be cautious about. Our fun-loving, free flowing spirit may spend money that we actually don't have.
Although this energy will pick us up and give us a strength we've been lacking, it does come with some cautions. Because the Leo energy is loud and demands attention, we could find ourselves acting overly dramatic and emotional about things that there's just no need of. We are seeking attention any way we can with this energy so be cautioned that your not looking for attention in the wrong ways. We could become overly expressive, oversharing, over emoting, and taking the lead role in our own play just a tad bit too far.
Because this Leo energy won't really be at it's most powerful until after the 8th of August, be cautious of how the ebb and flow of emotions actually effect you. We are still purging some pain from our heart-space while we are distancing ourselves from the Cancer and eclipse season. We have once last cry in us before emerging as the powerhouse we are after the first week of August.
Watch out for the wounded lion, as they tend to lash out causing damage to those around them before they retreat to lick their wounds. You'll want to exercise damage control when emotions are high and tempers are flaring. Regardless of how the lion within you feels at this moment, please know that you will be feeling a sense of power and strength within you once we get the first week of August under our belt.
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The Wheel Of Fortune (X) is the 10th trump card in the Major Arcana. "What goes around comes around" is the very basic message of this card. It's message serves to teach us to be kind at all times, to be loving to all kinds, and that you reap what you sow. If you are bitter, angry, and nasty, you will see that come back to you in your life. If you choose kindness and love, the karmic wheel will deliver to you what you deliver to others. This card asks you to stay positive no matter of the circumstances. It asks you to have faith in yourself and in the Universe. It asks you to trust the process and the path, as it will soon reveal a way of ease. Listen to the signs and symbols the Universe is sending to you to validate that you are in fact on the right path, no matter how dark it may get. There are miracles taking place in the cosmos in your favour, and soon you will receive the goodness you want and deserve.
The challenging aspects of this card, is that you cannot control your current circumstances, and because of that may be struggling to find trust and grounding within yourself. The Wheel Of Fortune does not punish, but rather advises that the situation is out of your control. The best way to deal with the current situation is to completely surrender and release the want, need, and desire, to force an outcome. This message requires time, patience, love, understanding, and total surrender.
The Wheel of Fortune can show a critical turning point in your life. Opportunities you could never imagine are suddenly available to you, and you have the chance to make a significant change in your life. While it may be unexpected and unfamiliar, see this as an invitation to turn things around and take an entirely new direction in your life. The more you tune in to your intuition and allow the Universe to guide you, the better the outcomes will be.
Marlee Henry
Psychic Advisor
The Energy Boutique
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Today, the planet of information, communication, and expression moves from Leo, back into Cancer. Still in a retrograde, Mercury has been making its way back through the signs revisiting some issues from the past with a different frame of mind. Mercury when retrograde, usually slows down our mental processes making the way we see things, and how we interpret information a bit cloudy and skewed.
When Mercury was retrograde in Leo, it made us go inward to explore where we are still holding pain in our hearts, where the truth was still urging to get out, where the fear of what we are too afraid to tackle head-on rose up for acknowledgement. Mercury retrogrades have the tendency to take us back in the past, to revisit some topics and themes that require attention and a new closure, and to reassess our plans before moving forward.
Now with Mercury creeping back into Cancer, we will be feeling a bit more sensitive and nostalgic than normal. The dramatics will continue, rearranging the family dynamic and reconstructing the boundaries we have in place to protect ourselves, but with Mercury now retrograde in Cancer, the emotional, and sensitive reactions will overtake what has been heated and fiery.
We are still in a time of reassessment of our plans, re-evaluating what isn't working and what needs to be tweaked, but under the Leo energy, we were running a little hot. Tempers were a bit more feisty in Leo than they will be in Cancer. Mercury retrograding back into Cancer gives us the opportunity to apply our intuition to what it is we are reviewing. Our softer sentiment can smooth the edges of what was a very fiery, hot topic, and help us to truly connect our emotions to these situations instead of allowing the pride of the lion to get in the way.
Because of the recent eclipse energies still settling within us, this energy influence from Mercury retrograding in Cancer will allow the download, the shift in energy, to be a bit more calm and peaceful than it was in its harsh and abrupt form while Mercury was in Leo. We still have some integrating to do, and the emotional emergence of Mercury moving back into Cancer will provide a closure to many topics and themes that were triggered back in June when Mercury first moved into Cancer in a direct motion. To refresh your memory on what Mercury moving into Cancer triggered for you, read this post.
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Thank you so much for all the love and support you've sent my way since the release of My White Light Moment. I know I left you all in suspense with that cliff hanger, but honestly, there is sooooo much to my story that it's hard to know when to stop. Waking up from that White Light Moment wasn't fun. My life was never going to be the same. Dealing with the physical repercussions of the events that took place in that operating room have also changed my life forever.
When I woke up the next day, my Mother stood staring out of the hospital room window. It felt as if I were looking in on her from another world. She looked tired and worried. I could feel she was scared. I spoke her name but nothing came out. I tried to move and couldn't. I cleared my throat and felt such excruciating pain that I stopped trying. The grunts and moans were enough movement to get my Mother's attention.
She quickly rushed to my side, frantically asking me if I was okay. She swiped my hair back off my face and kissed my forehead like she was never going to see me again. She screamed for the nurses and quickly ran out of my room to get help. I could hear her screaming down the hallway, "HELP! She's awake! She's awake! I need help!"
The nurses quickly rushed into the room and tried to keep me calm as they injected my IV with more meds. Suddenly everything was dark.
The next time I woke up, it was as if I was on Grey's Anatomy. The scene where the patient wakes up and all the doctors are standing over them telling them how lucky they were to be alive.
Everything went back to black.
When I woke up the next time, I was able to speak. I had a "smelly cat sexy voice" like Phoebe off of Friends. It wasn't my normal voice, but it worked well enough to ask some questions. I asked the nurses who were standing over me uncovering my blankets to change my dressings what had happened. They explained to me that my veins and airways had collapsed in surgery and alarmed a CODE BLUE. They retracted the tube from my airway, and tried to run it through my nose to intubate, but failed. They ended up using excessive force to get a tube down my throat and ended up damaging my vocal chords, and breaking some teeth in the process. They had to run all my IVs and monitors to the opposite side of my body where the veins were still open, and the doctors had to cauterize the hemorrhage in my abdomen where they had removed my baby, in order to close my ports in preparation for resuscitation.
Not really sure how to respond to all that information, I just nodded my head. They took my last blanket off my to reach my dressings and I was immediately traumatized from what I saw. My body was black and blue, swollen and bloody. I was not the very pale-skinned person that I normally am. I was beaten and bruised beyond any type of recognition.
My heart monitor alarm went off and then I was quickly injected with more meds as I was to beginning to freak out. I was sent back to the darkness.
After all was said and done, I was in the hospital for over 10 days; most of those were spent in a drug induced coma to help the healing process. I had gone through 2 emergency surgeries, 3 blood transfusions, I was resuscitated after my airways and veins collapsed on the table. I sustained injuries from the struggle to incubate, from my teeth being cracked by the tools they use to stick the tube down your throat, to a damaged sinus cavity and vocal cords from a forceful intubation.
I suffered permanent nerve damage from them retracting their tools in my abdomen in a hurry. They nicked a nerve bundle from my spine that runs down my right leg. I had to endure 6 months of physiotherapy to walk again. Over 600 hours of absolute torture just to be able to walk unassisted. I gained over 100 pounds in 6 months from a blood disorder that I received from the blood transfusions, and now have such a compromised immune system that eating normal foods makes me sick.
The first year after the trauma was spent going to doctor appointments and seeing specialist after specialist. It was a horrible time in my life. I also suffered some memory issues. The Doctors thought it was due to having such a traumatizing thing happen to me, but even to this day, I'm still not so sure about that. It was as if everyone and everything was new to me. I had no clue who my boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) was, or why I would even choose to be with him in the first place.
I didn't recognize my own family and had to rebuild a new relationship with each of them. I also didn't recognize my own house and decor. I had no clue why I would have ever chosen those curtains!
This trauma allowed me to see some of the greatest doctors in town. It took many years to get a full diagnosis. Medically, I was diagnosed with endocrine issues, adrenal issues, neuropathy & CRPS (a degenerative nerve disorder), and suspected for lupus and/or MS. I still have a benign pituitary brain tumour in my head that flares up causing more health issues in my body. My immune system is so overactive that I have a reaction to anything that gets put into my body. I can no longer tolerate scents and fragrances, foods and products that I'd used my whole life. Now it seemed like everything was causing me to be sick.
I ended up having to sell my house and car - along with anything else that was of value - shortly after getting out of the hospital, as I was now fully disabled. I was unable to work and couldn't keep up with the lifestyle I had previously established. No one plans to be disabled at 24 due to trying to have a family. I had no medical benefits or insurance coverage and was forced to downsize my life.
Being grateful for a second chance at life was really hard throughout these times. I had spent a lot of time thinking about WHY I was spared a second chance. I thought of all the people out in the world that want to live so badly that they'd do anything just to continue on, and they don't get the chance to. But here I was, not wanting to be alive and having to deal with the aftermath of a horrible situation.
Everyone you hear about having a near death experience is always so grateful to be alive, and so happy and beyond blessed to be able to continue living. I didn't get it. I just didn't feel that way. I felt the weight of the world, the sadness, the heaviness of life. I felt pain constantly throughout my body. I didn't have any fight left in me but yet, I was spared my life. I should have felt grateful. The fact that I didn't feel grateful made me feel bad.
I just couldn't understand how anyone, if they had the same white light experience that I had, felt that kind of warm, loving, oneness, and to see that beautiful indescribable light like I did, how they could be happy coming back here. This world, although has its beauty, is nothing compared to what I saw. It's not even comparable. Even those rare moments in life when you experience TRUE beauty, a sunset, sunrise, true love; nothing even compares to the breathtaking beauty of that light; that love; that feeling of being at peace. The feeling of being home. Your soul's TRUE home.
These other people who are so happy to be alive, who have seen THAT light, couldn't have seen the same beautiful light I had. If they did, they would be here longing to go home; back into that light, as I do, every single day of my life. Don't get me wrong, I do my best to be happy and try to create a life for myself of gratitude and positivity despite the many horrible challenges I face on a daily basis. But in my heart of hearts, I know I'm here doing what I have to do, and once I've completed my mission, I too, will get to go home.
Today we have our full moon taking place in Capricorn, but this full moon is hyped up on some astral energies creating a huge pivot point, and crossroads in the energetic paths we walk. This partial lunar eclipse makes the full moon powers even that much more amplified, and this has been the turning point many of us have been waiting for.
We've been in weird times these past few months, and all the energy from the New Year has been building within us, breaking us down, building us back up, and now, with this celestial event bringing an ending or closure to your life, the path forward will be revealed and it will be much more aligned with our soul's purpose than we've ever been before.
This portal of energies opened up for us back in June around the Summer solstice. This has been a time of both chaos and clarity, as the accelerated manifestation window sucked us in and did some re-arranging to our lives. Basically, the Universe was shaking its head at the progress (or lack thereof) that we've done in trying to align with our soul's purpose. Because we need to be at a certain point of our evolution and growth by the time 2020 rolls around, the Universe gave us a kick in the butt during the first eclipse (full solar eclipse in Cancer) and now, we see what gets eclipsed out of our lives for good under this partial lunar eclipse energy.
You will likely see a bit of drama unfold in the sector of your life the eclipse is spotlighting (check your birth chart to see what houses this event is triggering for you), there is also going to be a door slamming on something from your past. This eclipse axis effects the Capricorn - Cancer axis, which is career, money, reputation, structures, masculine energy; versus, home life, nurturing, emotions, family dynamics, intuition, and the feminine energy.
The work/life balance needs to be re-evaluated.
On a global platform, we are watching this Capricorn energy go to work, by breaking down some outdated structures in our government, politics, religious bodies, and other systematic structures. This is where the masks start falling off of people revealing the control, and power of manipulation.
This full moon in Capricorn, lunar eclipse is also working very closely with Pluto, the God of the underworld and of great transformation, to make sure that the changes we undergo are deep on a soul level, and will be transformed under the light of the Sun.
For many people, this energy has been confusing, yet at the same time, has provided a much clearer picture about some truths and realities that maybe weren't being accepted in ones life up until now.
This is a pivot point. There is an applied pressure to our relationships and money situations right now, forcing us to expose the darkness within, all for the purpose of creating a more stable foundation for us to work upon as we move into the future.
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With the energy of the cosmos now focused on our inner journey, our inner healing, our inner pain, I feel supported in sharing my "White light" experience with you.
If you have been following me for any length of time, you may recall my near-death-experience I described in the post: On The 10th Anniversary of My Death, and the events that have "gifted" me with my abilities to help others heal, in the post: How I ended Up Dying.
This has been a touchy subject for me over the years, but because of my soul contract I feel the need to share my experience in hopes of helping others who have experienced similar things. I will go more into detail about the events you are about to read in my book (if it ever feels complete enough to share), until then, I ask you to please be open minded to a world we aren't familiar with.
Before this event I did not believe in God. I always had a strong belief in a higher power but felt that the biblical version of God was not the same version that I believed in. I believed in angels. I believed in an afterlife. I believed that everything happened for a reason. That day laying on the operating table of my second emergency surgery, I experienced events that totally rattled my beliefs. I had a "white light" moment, that would change, my life forever.
I woke up on the operating table and heard all kinds of beeping sounds and doctors screaming. It was very bright as I opened my eyes. My eyes came into focus and I could see were the big surgery lamps over me as they hung from the ceiling. I could hear machines going off; sirens, and CODE BLUE being spoken over the loud speaker.
I sat up and swung my legs to the side and got up off the operating table. As I turned around to scope out the place, I noticed that there I was, still laying on the table. There were a group of doctors who were shoving tubes in me, one down my throat, others in my arms. Another group of doctors and nurses were still working to repair the hemorrhage in my abdomen from where they cut my baby out of me.
There were doctors frantically coming in and out of the operating room, responding to the CODE BLUE call.
And there I stood, over my own lifeless body.
Although I had no clue what was actually happening and how it could be even possible for this to be happening, I started frantically trying to get in the doctor's way. I was screaming at them to just let me go. I had a very difficult childhood and had struggled through a couple suicide attempts in my teens. I had recovered to the point where I no longer attempted to end my life, but I wasn't against dying by accident.
The truth was, if there was a button to end your life, "game over", it would have been pushed years ago. Especially now, having just been through the pregnancy from hell, I really didn't have much fight left in me. All I ever wanted was to be a Mom and now that dream was gone.
I was crying and trying to swipe the doctor's hands away, but just like I was dreaming, I was invisible to these people. No one could see me or hear me, and I couldn't physically make contact with anything I was trying to touch. It was as if I were a ghost and my touch sliced right through these people and objects I was trying to make contact with; as if I had disappeared.
I was having a fit at this point. I didn't want the doctors to save me. I didn't want to wake up and live through this life. I just wanted them to let me go.
In that moment the room lit up. Not as if someone opened the window to let the sun in, but more like this beautiful, mesmerizing, white light that penetrated every inch of that place in an awe-inspiring glow.
The truth is, I don't have the words in my vocabulary to truly describe this light. Not because I am unaware of the words to use in this instance, but because the words just simply don't exist in our language to describe the kind of light I was witnessing.
The light was coming in more and more, every time the operating doors swung opened. There were doctors entering and exiting through these doors where it seemed as if they were getting sucked up and spit out by this engulfing light. But it shocked me that they weren't even paying attention it. They were rushing around as if it were business as usual.
I started to turn away from myself laying on the operating table as I tried to walk towards the light. I had gotten to the end of the operating table where my physical body still lay, where my feet were secured in stirrups; and I was suddenly stuck in space. I was unable to move any further, as if magnets were keeping me from getting too far away from my body.
Still in a state of distress and confusion, I struggled to walk towards the light but couldn't make it past that point. I hung my head in defeat and the tears fell off my face. When I looked up there stood my grandmother. She had passed away when I was 9 years old, but yet there she stood smiling at me in that operating room.
I wanted to walk towards her but still couldn't move any further away from my body as it lay on the operating table than before. Nanny spoke no words to me, but she carried a face and smile that for some reason assured me that things were going to be okay.
The flicker of the white light still kept getting brighter with each opening of the OR doors. A man walked in but wasn't rushing like the others were. He was very calm and peaceful and walked to the right side of my Nanny were he stopped and folded his hands in front of him. I kept looking at my Nanny, but she showed me no signs of worry or concern.
The doors opened again filling the room with even more brightness and this time a girl walked in. I couldn't see her because her hair was long and covering her face from my view, but she wore the same hospital gown as I did. She walked behind my Nanny, and then behind the man, and turned to walk towards the operating table.
The closer she got, the more I started to scream, "NOOOOOO!" . I looked to my Nan and this strange man to stop this girl from coming near me or my body on the operating table, but neither of them moved.
I couldn't move.
I wasn't sure what she was doing, but I felt the need to stop it. She walked like a robot towards me and then jumped up on the table and laid down over my body.
Chiron, the wounded healer planetoid, has been in Aries since February creating a healing energy that will help us all heal the wounds of our ego and identity, and turn those wounds into power. Chiron entered into Aries in April of 2018, and stayed there long enough to see the breakdown of who we are, either in our spirit or in our physical world. Chiron then retreated back into Pisces in September of 2018, during his last retrograde before fully diving into the healing process of our inner wounds, aligning our spirit with who we are in every day life.
Since Chiron moved into Aries for a long-term stay in February, we have been seeing it's effects on a public platform, as everyone is now empowered and speaking up and out about the pain and trauma they've endured. Chiron lets us know what wounds we came into this life to heal, and where it is we need to turn pain into power by the placement of his energy in your birth chart. We all come into this life, looking to heal certain wounds that we will accumulate throughout our lives, all in hopes that one day we will drop the mask, expose our wounds, and inspire others to do the same.
Today, Chiron is going retrograde in Aries, taking us on a little bit of a healing journey inwards. This is where we get to retrace our steps, examine ourselves and the wounds we've already exposed. This acts as a refresher course to provide some closure to the first layer of healing.
Chiron will be in Aries until 2027, providing us with a huge timeframe to heal the wounds that we've been hiding behind, and using as a crutch for our identity. Too many of us identify so greatly with our pain, that we don't know how to let go. We use it as a shield and as an excuse to move on in our lives. Some of us don't even know who we are without our pain identity. But now is the chance to peel back the first layer of our pain, to drop the mask, and get real with ourselves. We have learned certain behaviours and adopted certain ways of thinking out of our need to survive. Now we have a choice to drop the survival mode, and move into thriver mode.
Physically, Chiron in Aries spotlights the head. We could be feeling some pressure, headaches, migraines, and overall discomfort where our head is concerned. Ailments such as sinus issues, jaw pain, neck problems, will all fester with the sharp movements of Chiron through the sky.
Mentally, Chiron in Aries is asking us to be a bit more authentic and real in our lives. The masks we wear especially to hid our pain and insecurities is creating a false sense of self. We are being asked to "wake up", drop the mask, and start showing the world who we really are. This is about acknowledging that we do in fact wear a mask, we try to hide ourselves, especially where we are most vulnerable, and in turn, we are adopting the "victim" mentality. It's time to make a conscious decision to step away from being a survivor, and fully embrace the life of a thriver.
Emotionally, Chiron in Aries asks us to stand up for ourselves. This means recognizing where we give our power away to others, where we fail to implement the boundaries we need to protect ourselves. It is likely that your anger will fester up at this time. Ask your anger to show you what it's hiding. Often times, anger shows up when it's hiding pain, sadness, sorrow and grief. Let your anger show you what it is you really need to work on healing. Let is show you the road map to your soul's pain.
Spiritually, Chiron in Aries is going to ask yourself, "Who am I?" Get real with yourself. Take a good look at your motivations, your goals, and see if they are truly aligned with your heart. Take notice to how far you've strayed off the path of being authentic and real with yourself and everyone around you. Put the masks down once and for all.
Soulfully, Chiron in Aries asks us to accept ourselves. Recognize the inner conflict and the divide within, and accept all parts as one. When you divide yourself, you divide your power. To accept yourself fully is to harness every ounce of power you hold within. It's time to step up, to lead yourself into being the best, most courageous self you've ever known. Embrace your true essence and see how the world responds to your new vibration. Watch your path open up and gift you with things you've only ever held in your heart. For when we truly embrace every part of ourselves, honour it, respect it, we live in divine order and will be blessed as such.
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